totally scunnered!

Haven't weighed myself in a fortnight, because according to my wii I somehow put on 1.5stone in a week. I don't think so! I was so upset, I binged for a week.

I am seriously considering giving up on this whole weightwatchers makary. In fact, I am considering giving up the whole diet carry on. I have so much other stuff going on it just seems bottom of my list of priorities. I spent all my time thinking about food, I eat, and either feel guilty or unsatisfied. I hate cooking, so all this recipes and effort just doesn't float my boat. I am fed up with hating my body, feeling bad about myself and second guessing myself all the time.

To be honest since I have went online only I haven't really had the same love for the plan as I have had and I am seriously considering quitting. I figure I've been involved in one diet club or another long enough to know what I should and should not be eating! I know I need to exercise more and eat less junk. I am really thinking about going back to basic calorie counting and staying under 1000 a day, because all this is really just making me feel so bored.

I have had enough of feeling bad about myself, my choices and my body. Because actually some people actually think I am bloomin' beautiful and i think it is time I did so to!

1st week online only...a giant F I am afraid!

So this was my first week as an online only member and I am afraid the overall result is a giant F for fail. Now, before I start being too hard on myself I want to make people aware that I am aware of the following things:
1. Overall I am still much slimmer than what I was.
2. I have stopped smoking which is taking its toll emotionally and psychologically.
3. My stomach is all over the place as a result of the anti-smoking pills...I didn't go to the toilet for a while, have terrible wind and am still very irregular. I know this is not a pleasant discussion, but non-the-less important when considering weight loss.

So, I know all of this I do. I also know that this week I have not tracked, I have ate a lot of chocolate and cheese. Yes, I also did 2 runs, a 40min zumba and pole dancing, but I knew I would put on.

What I didn't expect to put on was 4 f**king pounds! Excuse the expletive but I am so genuinely devastated about this gain. I feel like I have taken a massive  leap in the opposite direction. 4lbs is a lot of weight to gain, in a week!! I only gained 5lbs over a fortnight in bloomin' Thailand.

So overall, annoyed, gutted, frustrated, pee-d off, sore, down-todden and needing a sever kick up the backside...something that only i can do.