First day...food, exercise, and magazine subscriptions

Well it's only day 1, but I usually find the first few days the hardest. I know most people find the first few days of anything are the best because they are all revved up and motivated, but I actually find it quite hard. I feel the first few days quite difficult, the amount of changes and sacrifices that have to be made. Once I am started to get into the habit of something I find it easier to keep muddling through!

But today wasn't too bad. I didn't have breakfast...I meant to, then something got me caught up at work and I didn't. I know that this is bad...but it happened.

So I was starving at lunch time, but I stayed reserved. I had chicken noodle soup and a brown roll with just butter for lunch, then I had a banana and a small handful of brazil nuts at 5pm as I had to work late. When I got home (at 6.40) I did 40mins of kettlebells with a 4kg (double my usual weight - I nearly died!) and then had a small chicken stir fry after. I was a bit hungry later so had a greek yogurt and some granola. Also I was reeeeally good and only had 2 cups of tea and lots of water!!

Go Me!

Also my women's health magazine (which I am now subscribed to...) came today! yippee!

So...going well.

Tomorrow's challenge: the training day lunch...eck!

Post Holiday Blues....and back where I started!

Well I am home from the holidays, and weighed in as you do post holiday, and I very much could believe it when I realised I was once again back up to my starting weight. 13st.

I was in some ways shocked, but mostly disappointed in myself. Months of work, exercise, investment in myself, for nothing. I am right back where I started 6 years ago when I had to buy my first pair of size 16 jeans.

This week I have had to buy another three pairs.

But, I have decided not to wallow in my grief. I had a moment in my holiday where I realised it really is time for change. I always try to be honest in my blog, with you, because I think that on a journey as difficult as weight loss it is important to be honest, but this moment I had on holiday is not one that I can share. All you need to know is that I had a moment that I shared with my manfriend where I really realised that I cannot keep going on the way I way I am going on. That unless I really apply myself I am going to constantly bounce between 13st and a little bit below...

So this time there will no weightwatchers, no crash diet, just healthy manageable eating plan and exercise.

I've already got started - I did a fat photo collage which I have stuck to the fridge and cupboard in my kitchen, I also cut out bodies from magazines that I liked and put my head on them to promote positive messages. I also have a diary which I am tracked my weight, measurements, food and exercise, as well as my mood and positive messages that I pick up along the way.

I would say this time is the last time or this time it's for real. But I've said it so many times the words kind of feel empty.

All I know is that there was a moment in my life where I realised that I was genuinely unhappy, deeply and soulfully unhappy, with my body, and that I cannot be there in another year, or two years, or six years. I have to change. Simple as that.

Come with me!