pretty crappy week...but it still doesn't add up...

So I put on 0.5lb...

This week... in one word... has been shit.

I have been on these stupid antibiotics for 4 days. I feel sick, and hungry, all at the same time. The only thing that makes me feel better is to eat...then my mouth gets sore, so I take painkillers...which stops me going to the toilet, which makes me feel even more awful.


Now the thing is I have counted everything this week, I haven't had any alcohol (not allowed) and I have blitzed my daily and weekly points. However...I have also worked my butt off and hardly used any activity points so I although I know I haven't ate very well and I know that I have had more rubbish than usual... I didn't expect the gain and I am a little disappointed.

In more important news...and possibly another reason why I have possibly been a little more piggy than usual is that last Tuesday I started the first quit attempt of 2013...and have been smoke free for 7 whole days. And once again I feel like poo...I'm coughing up junk, I'm moody, easily aggravated (more than usual...) but I am coping. In fact I do feel pretty good in that I haven't really had many cravings.

But on top of this my personal and professional life is all going a bit nuts. I kind of agreed to take on a guide unit, so gave myself LOTS of extra work (although I do love it), certain relationships are straining under January blues and my housework is falling into disarray with busy weekends and exercise evenings.

Work is an actual nightmare...I am buried, literally buried, under paperwork. We're a worker down and my case load has literally increased by 50% absorbing the most complex and overdue cases of the other worker. Sometimes I barely lift my head... and I know that I am beginning to lose things in the day...phone calls I mean to do, e-mails I need to send...

so in a nutshell...life is a bit chaotic.

So I didn't stay for the meeting...I just wanted to be under the duvet on the couch, which is exactly where I am.

But I know this feeling, when things get emotional, and difficult, I want to eat, to comfort myself, to forget.... and I can't do that to myself.

So although I still don't think things have added up this week, I am listening to my body. It clearly did not enjoy the barrage of poor food choices its been hit with this week. So I am going to restrict daily treats to 4pp, and only one weekly treat meal. Its too early in my journey to get knocked off course. So after I finish my blog I am going to do my shopping online, to ensure I can't be tempted, and plan my meals as much as I can for the week.

The only way is up.

Finally I have the APP!!!

Well there has been a lot of things happening in my life!

First of all, I lost 2 fabulous pounds :D This week's goal is 1.5lbs off to allow my first silver seven (1/2 a stone!!)

Also, I ache, literally, every day, all day - in the morning, in the evening and in between, from the top of my feet (pole) to my thighs (pretty much all classes - what is the obsession with squats!) - to my shoulders (pole/kettlebells...) Its a pain I suppose I need to deal with as I have no plans to give up any of the exercise...in fact I plan to increase it! Why...? cause I know its the reason I am getting such good results!!

Starting Weight: 12st 12.5lbs
This weeks weight: 12st 6lbs
Total Loss: 5.5lbs
Next Weeks Goal: 1.5lbs

Now although my achy body and recent WI result are obviously newsworthy something even better happened to me this week.

I got a shiny new mobile...a smart phone, which means I can finally get one thing I have been desperate for!  The Weight Watchers APP!!

How cool is this thing - I can track, and check points, on the go! Although I will try to remember my calculator and eating out guide the difference is I won't get the PANIC if I forget! I am so excited about this app its unbelievable (and possibly quite sad...but I don't care!)

Oh, and in regards to other issues in my life (because I know you're all desperate to know)

1. Its wisdom teeth and I have scary, makeyouveryunwell, antibiotics for 6 days.

2. My and the manfriend are chatting...things are positive!

Exercise is quickly becoming a part of me!

Physical fitness can neither be achieved by wishful thinking nor outright purchase.  ~Joseph Pilates

The weightwatchers programme is designed for members who are able-bodies and for those who are not. Basically if you follow the plan, and do no exercise at all, you'll still lose weight.

Exercise allows you an extra safety net, one which if you don't use you'll lose weight faster. This year I am going full throttle so I have started exercising from the day I started. I want to lose the weight quickly, but I also want to get exercise into my life, as much as eating or drinking is. The evidence is clear, those people who exercise are more likely to lose weight, lose it quicker, and keep it off.

I do a range of exercise, I started pole dancing last year, which I am struggling with a little, mostly due to my weight, but that I am determined to work hard at! I also started bowka two weeks ago, which I love. Its a total sweat fest, a mixture of boxercise and African dance (kinda zumba style). Its the quicker hour of my life and I am really enjoying it!!

On top of these classes, which are costing money of course, I have been trying to complete some additional exercise off my own back. Last night I completed a 50mins full body workout with my kettlebells at home, which I find really really hard, but know that the combination of strength work and cardio will burn and tone at the same time, so it's worth the pain!

Also, in bigger news, I am now the proud owner of a BICYCLE! I had a bike when I was a kid, but not since. I am hoping (once the ice and snow melts) that I will get out for small short runs to start, over the local shops rather than taking the car for example. By the summer, hopefully once I am stronger and fitter I am planning to cycle to my weightwatchers class, and exercise classes as well.

I am a little bit in love with it!

So although I sit here with achy bones and tender muscles I know that it is all for the greater good. There is whispers of a holiday in May, and I'd really  like to be at least 11stone before I go, which is an average weight loss of just over 1lb a week, genuinely achievable, provided I stick to the plan, stick to the exercise and keep pushing forward!

 

 

 

When something seems too good to be true, it's probably because it is...

Look at my last blog, how happy and excited and nervous I was about cooking and doing energetic things with my partner and his daughter. Unfortunatly yesterday was short lived, and tiny human started to come down with her 4th cold in the last few months.

Tiny human and I have a...tense relationship. There is a lot of things that she does that annoy me. I don't like kids, never have, which is why I am finding this relationship a constant journey of change and experience, and my patience is at time...thin. When she is unwell she is whinny, and I hate myself for saying it, but it drives me utterly insane. Manfriend and I went to bed around 1.30 this morning, and tiny human decided to scream and shout every half an hour for no reason other than attention.

Now I know she is sick, and I felt awful, but the lack of sleep plus my predisposition to hatred of small children meant I became an awful person who screamed at a 3 year old at 3.30 this morning, then at my manfriend. I basically told them to fcuk off!!

I eventually gave up my bed for them both and had about an hours sleep on a blow up bed in the living room. I've been crying all day, and have hardly ate a thing. I am working my way through a bar of galaxy, which I pointed (dedicated if nothing else).

He hasn't called and I have an impending sense of doom. I think I pushed it to far and have a feeling I'll be on the singles market again soon.

I don't know why I am the way I am. I have no patience, and a temper. The two combined does not a good guardian make. I should never have become emotionally involved with this man. It was a one night stand that sucked me in, and the warning signs were there! I had one f**king rule - no guys with kids. No I lie here, frightened to sleep in case I miss the call I know is coming, too proud and vulnerable to call him first, waiting for my heart to be broken.

I genuinely don't know what I'll do with out this man in my life. But I know that he deserves better than me. I love this man with all of my heart and body, which is why I know it has to end, because I am never going to be what he, or his daughter, need.

Cooking and Moving with my Pot Noodle family!

So this weekend the serenity of my flat was shattered by the invasion of my little family: the manfriend (aka other half, too old to be called boyfriend hence manfriend) and the tiny human (aka manfriends daughter [obviously, we didn't just steal a random 3 year old to hang out with now and again!], 3 years old).

Now the time since tiny human came into my life has involved a lot of change, some tears, but a lot more laughter. It's been hard, and if it wasn't for the amazing attitude of manfriend it would have been a fail. We've come a long way, but here we are, a wee pot noodle (instant) family who are chugging along the only way we know how!

So anyway, this change in my life is partially responsible for lax in healthy eating regime. I don't blame them, I have no one to blame but myself, but as the new weight watchers ethos states:

"Willpower enough is not alone!"

 

 

So as I am dragged into burger kings, chocolate always on hand in the fridge, and dropping the pace to accommodate wee legs, my weight (which was always creeping up anyway) was given a helping hand along the way.

 

Part of this is my fear/inability to cook, so easy made pasta meals and takeaways etc was a stable for tiny human and me. Don't get me wrong tiny human eats TONS of fruit, and has veg with every meal, she eats almost everything and I would never feel happy if she hadn't had some fruit and vig every day!! Funny how you are so strict on the tiny people, but completely ignore your own bodies needs!

 

Part of my resolution is to try and make at least one new meal a week, and although the main aim of this is to help me stay on track, another nice consequence is that I can learn to cook to keep my wee family happy!

 

Plus we are trying to find ways to maintain activity when tiny human is around. Last weekend we went bowling, and in between bowls danced to the music that was blaring (somehow bowling halls have taken on a nightclub ethos at 11.30am on a Sunday!). This weekend we went swimming, and spent an hour there, even at low activity this is an easy 3aps made!

 

My activity total is 16 already, 2 more than I got all of last week!!

 

So tiny human is napping (after boiled eggs and seeded toast for lunch), manfriend is watching super sport saturday and I am on the couch; achy, content, stuffed and looking forward to making paella for dinner tonight!!

 



3.5lbs off...thank you very much!

So the first week weigh in was upon me, and despite all the positive changes this week I was still super nervous in the queue to get weighed. I stand and literally feel heavier and heavier as I approach the scales, I begin to doubt myself; "did I point this? did I weigh that?", and moved from "I've easily lost 2.5lbs..." to "please God, 1lb, even a half, will do".

Well imagine my sheer delight when the scales flashed up and I was a stunning 3.5lbs lighter. I couldn't believe it - and trust me I have had a colossal night out, a Chinese takeaway and a meal out for brunch on Sunday. I have not been tight with myself in any way so I was extra chuffed with the loss.

People do tend to lose a lot in the first week and a lot of this is fluid retention, well the loss of the fluids to be precise. Fluid builds up everywhere in our bodies, even our joints, and especially in women. When you make a change to your eating as significant as starting a weight watcher plan then you naturally lose some of this fluid - especially as you tend to take in more fluid because you're on the healthy eating plan (ironic - but true! Best way to lose the fluid is drink more water!!)

However I am happy with my lose - 3.5lbs is HUGE for my wee plodgy body. Because my wee plodgy body doesn't like giving anything up! Particularly weight! And I plod along at a .5-1lb loss (if I lose) a week! So to lose over double that is fab! And by not having a massive loss I am confident that the majority of my lose is genuine (plus I drink tons, yes non-alcoholic too).

So this week it is about maintaining. At the meeting Christine was explaining the importance of breakfast and ways to ensure we make good choices in the morning, as this tends to carry through for the rest of the day. However, I have a pretty solid breakfast routine: I don't like eating in the morning and genuinely do not feel hungry until about 9.30-10ish. My work has a great kitchen so I always have breakfast there, which also promotes me to have a later lunch and stops me binging at 6pm when I get in from work starving!!! So I have forward planned my porridge/Weetabix morning regimes with relative ease.

In addition to trying to ensure I have good breakfast every day (especially as I don't see it as a huge challenge for me, I like my grub too much to skip meals) I have set myself two other challenges this week:

1. Do one extra activity this week
2. Drink 1.5litres of water a day (not including tea/coffee)

Again I have already planned these two, so I optimistic my little goals will be in easy reach this week. Which is vital to keep up my motivation levels.

I've just finished planning most of my meals (weekends still blank, manfriend and tiny human are coming to mine to stay PLUS its the 5th week of this wage so I will be lucky to have milk left never mind anything else for them!) and have made appointments with myself for my exercise.

Roll on week two :)

Starting Weight: 12 11.5lbs
Current Weight: 12 8lbs
Weight Loss this week: 3.5lbs
Totally weight Loss: 3.5lbs

Making an appointment with myself

I am twitter fan (@crazechickadee if you want to follow) and on twitter I follow a whole manner of weird and silly twitter feeds...including a variety of women's health and fitness, motivation quotes etc etc.

So anyway, one of these random tweeters (women's motivation I think) said when planning exercise make an appointment with yourself, and keep it.

It makes sense really, we make appointments at work to see people, meetings etc, we make appointments with doctors, dentists, hairdressers, beauty therapists that we promise to keep, rarely miss! We make appointments to meet friends for lunch, to visit family for dinner, to be with others at the time that suits.

So when I saw this tweet I thought "this really makes sense" (my manfriend was particularly impressed by it!).

So instead of saying "I'll try make the gym on Monday", or "I'll exercise 3 times this week", I am going to try changing the way I look at this instead.

Now I make an appointment with myself. I put it (in pen) in my diary - Tuesday 1pm Swim with Sarah Conway, Thursday 7pm Bokwa with Sarah and Tracey, Monday 11.00am Kettlebells dvd - 20mins - with Sarah Conway.

Obviously this looks a bit crazy to anyone reading with diary - but it makes a bigger impression that just putting swim 1pm. By putting my name against it I view it the way I would view a meeting or home visit with any of my clients, or colleagues, or friend, or family. I put myself on the same level of importance as all these other people. Me, and my exercise, is as important as anything else in my life.

By forward planning my exercise over the week, or even a month, I can schedule my other appointments around it, rather than exercise around my life. My clients don't know that the reason I have to meet them at 2 is because I have a swim at 1... and they don't need to know.

So my diary is organised, my exercise is planned, as is my meals.

Birthday nights out, hangover chinese and 14pps left over :)

One of things I had forgotten about, and love about the Weight Watchers plan is how it fits around my life.

Now that I have restarted (basically from scratch) I get extra points again - 29 every day, plus my weekly 49 on top of that. Where I went wrong in the past was when I ate too much every day plus my big binges at the weekend; (pretty much the reason why I ended up back in the mess that I am in).

I know I get a few extra points a day now, which does make all the difference - those three extra points give me my milk every day, or a thick slice of bread, or a little extra at dinner time. However, my refocus - and my planning - means that I haven't went over my points during the day at all. Which meant that last night I was able to go to the pub with my friends and get...

well lets just say I am a little worse for wear this morning!

But not only did I use some of my weeklies for the alcohol, because I knew I was going out I also keep my point intake on Friday during the day low. My lunch for example was nil poi - veg soup, an apple and sugar free jelly.... then a homemade Chinese chow mein for dinner coming in at a very low 6 points. Sticking to white spirits and diet mixers when I was out meant that even after tracking I still had almost 30 weekly propoints left, and a very sore head this morning.

Given my abundance of propoints I figured I'd go ahead and have a cheeky hangover Chinese tonight. Which I did - a curry - and FRIED rice - and it was AMAZING!!

AND I still have 14 weekly points (plus 8 from BOKWA class on Thursday)

I feel like I have the weekend well and truly under control this week. Tomorrow the manfriend and I are taking the Tiny Human (his 3 year old daughter) to Braehead where we are going to go bowling, plus if the weathers ok we'll also going to take her out on her bike. Hopefully rack up a few extra activity points. And knowing I have a few extra points, plus my eat out guide, to tackle the food laden environment of Xscape.

I'll let you know how I get on, but for now me and mine are getting snuggled on the couch with a good film, and some lovely chopped fruit. Tis Bliss!

Organised Chaos

This week our task from Christine was to plan our week ahead. Which I have done to the best of my ability. All of my breakfasts and lunches were pretty straight forward, its either oatabix or porridge in the morning, with some fruit. Lunch is my 0pp soup (basically veg and water) plus either a sandwich, salad or a warp, plus lots of fruit and occasionally a yogurt if I am still hungry.

Dinner is my problematic meal of the day, I am always starving at night by the time I come home from work. I hate cooking, mainly because I cannot cook, and I need my dinner there and then. I knew I was starting weightwatchers this week, so I decided to be proactive and get organised on the Sunday before hand. Sunday is really the only day I have which I have the time and notion to cook anything, so I decided to batch cook as much as I could and freeze it all.

So that's what I did. I made 2 portions of turkey mine chilli, cooked 6 chicken breasts and made a big pot of vegetable soup. Tonight I had 2 chicken breasts with couscous and jerk chicken sauce, easy and filling, in fact I couldn't finish it. Tonight I also made a second batch of soup, as I had 4 big tomatoes that were bin bound if I didn't use them. I also made up 9 portions of sugar free jelly, 0pps and great when I am looking for a wee something something after my dinner (or any time really).

Yes its only day 1 - but its about celebrating small victories. Using the time I have productively and making as much healthy food as possible means that I am changing my environment. If I have good food available to me, I'll eat it. If not, I won't and will pick something quick, easy and most likely full of fat.

So for tonight my plan is to have a wee buff and shine night, mani - pedi and all the rest of it. I'll feel better for it tomorrow, and more importantly it'll keep me away from the biscuit tin!

New Year, New Leader, New Start!

So today I attended my first weightwatchers meeting of 2013.

Not going to lie when I was standing outside waiting to go in I had the all too familiar sense of impending doom. The thought of getting weighed again, of going through this revolving door of diet plans and binge sessions, could I really be bothered?

Then I remembered the weekend, out with my friends and I felt huge. So huge in fact I was too insecure to get up and dance....

Yeah you did read that right - I didn't dance.

So I took a deep breathe and went inside.

Well: 12 stone and 11.5lbs...

Oft! I usually don't post my weight cause I am insecure about it. But I figure I may as well put everything out there (or here) because honestly really should be the best policy. The shame of my weight will hopefully get me going! I was genuinely devastated by this weigh-in, as basically it means I have only lost 1.5lbs in 2 years!

I was dejected as I sat down in the meeting, think of the money I've spent on this diet and that diet and in the end I have 1.5lbs to show for it. I considered leaving, then my new leader got up to speak.

A photo at Christmas which confirmed I was as heavy as ever!

I had been told about Christine Mitchell by my old Inverkip leader, but never went to her class because there was another one closer to where I lived. From the word go this women had the room, she is lively, funny and above all realistic. Loud and unapologetic I soon found myself smiling and laughing along.

I left the class much more upbeat, ready for the week ahead. This weeks task is to change my immediate environment and put out positive food choices everywhere to stop me falling into a trap of "I'll just have one". In addition I am to try and plan as much of my meals as possible to keep my focus ad get a good week one loss, so that's what I am going to do.

I re-joined my weightwatcher community and am looking forward to catching up with everyone on there. I deleted my old weight information - this really is a clean slate for good!!

So as I sit here eating my last 3 triangles of my Christmas Toblerone and plan for the week ahead it is with bright eyes and a positive outlook.

Here we go...it's the year for goal!!

Getting ready for my first weigh in!

So I start weight watchers tomorrow...ECK! I am actually dreading my weigh in - got a funny feeling I am going to be right back at square one!

However, I have an edge this time - I know what to expect. Which means I have been able to get a little bit more organised! Yesterday and today I have been a slave to the stove and cooking my wee heart out!

After hitting Aldi for the fruit and veg, and devouring all left over chocolate over the weekend, I have been pre-cooking as much as possible. One of my downfalls is I have my lunch quite early, around 12.30, which means by 5.40 when I get home (on a good day) I am usually starving!

So I am going to make sure I take more fruit to work to snack on around 4pm-ish. I have a bad habit when making my dinner of snacking at the same time, because I am so hungry. By Pre-cooking as much as possible it means my dinner will be quicker, which will also stop me snacking.

So yesterday I made a gorgeous 0pro-point vegetable soup, for lunches and if I get a notion for something! In addition I've made turkey chilli with turkey mince, chilli flavoured kidney beans and chopped tomatoes - dead simple and low in points too! I also cooked 6 chicken breasts, I eat a lot of chicken with different sauces or sides, so having them ready to go, just plain oven cooked, means I just need to reheat along with what i am having them with and vola! one dinner!!

I've also attempted to make some deserts, because I do have a chronic sweet tooth! Inspired by Jamie's 30minute meals I was half watching (probably whilst dying with a hangover) I threw together some frozen yogurt. I literally threw frozen fruit in with greek style yogurt into my smoothie maker and stuck it in the freezer. No sugar, or sweetener, just real fruit and low fat yogurt!

Long may this organisation continue!

Will let you all know how weigh in goes tomorrow :)

Getting Organised!

So its January - and its time to start putting my resolutions into action. Planning and organisation is the key!

1 - Weightwatchers! I have found my new weightwatchers class in Prestwick and I begin this Tuesday coming.

2 - Pole classes - my wonderful pole instructor has started her own business and classes start on the 16th - I am all paid up and ready to go! I am also going to try a burlesque taster session as well - I am hoping that I am will be able to gain some body confidence alongside losing weight.

3 - Trying a new exercise. I have discovered a bokwa class in Prestwick! Bokwa is apparently like Zumba on speed - and looks like good fun. I found a class in Prestwick on Thursday nights.

So Tuesday WWers, Wednesday Pole and Thursday Bokwa... Hopefully all this business will keep me out the fridge haha!