Stick a fork in me....and my road.

Don't panic, I'm not done. But its been a difficult few weeks, which climaxed with a small breakdown at my WWers meeting and then colossal breakdown to my manfriend on the phone later on the same night, during which time I cried, shouted, threatened to not go on our holiday and basically couldn't think past the 3rd weight gain in 3 weeks.

However, after sleeping, and reflecting on the issue, I've a clearer head and better attitude. My leader Christine is very good at supporting through the good and the bad. She posts total losses of facebook, and as she has the highest weight losses in the UK they are pretty impressive. They are inspiring, but when you've had a rotten week, or another gain, they can be frustrating. A "how can everyone else do this and I can't" sort of thought. But Christine supports you through this too and posted a series of questions that a gainer has to ask themselves.

So I've genuinally thought about the last few weeks and there is a list of reasons for my gains, not excuses, but reasons:

1. I've stopped smoking...heading into week four I still struggle in the evenings to keep myself occupied. I am eating more as a result.

2. Weekend in Morecombe...the tracking went out the weekend after cocktail number 8.

3. Ill - antibiotics and cold plus missed a weigh in!

4. Binges - I am still binging, particularly at the weekends, and perhaps my weeklies are not stretching as much as I am hoping.

5. Jeans - my guide unit has started back up, and is right after weighwatchers meeting, so I now have to get weighed in my jeans...which have a 2-3lb weight gain over trousers..

Combining all these reasons, some of which are outwith my control, some of which are completely my own fault, suddenly my gains are not so unexpected, and not so bad.

So with fresh eyes and a clear head I moving into this week as a brand new weight watcher, and on track for the next 12 weeks...because on week 13 I am off to sunny Tunisia!!

I'm tracking everything, and have already discovered I've not been pointing enough milk on a daily basis when I have porridge...I've only been pointing 3 instead of 5...opps! That's 14pps a week I've not been tracking if I have porridge every day (which I don't, but usually 5 days out of 7...)

I'm being proactive with meals again... today I made a 10pp mushroom and bacon risotto for my dinner, and had a cup of soup at 4pm so I wouldn't be starving on route home (which leads to picking).

So today, day 1, is on track. I'm embracing my mistakes and moving forward. I've even forward planned my Chinese on Saturday (special chow mein, 30g of prawn crackers and a large glass of rose wine).