I've never been hypnotised before. I've seen people get hypnotised on holiday and do really stupid things, but I've never volunteered, nor really thought much of the process. I have always believed in the unconscious mind, because I believe that we take in information beyond that which we actually remember. People facing near death situations have consistently reported huge chunks of information and images flash before them as the brain tries to find something to use to save itself from death, and the majority of this information people agree they couldn't consciously retain it.
However, the idea of past lives, external auras, energy fields, all of that I have never been sure of. Not to say I disbelieve it, but I've just never had strong feelings either way.
I've tried to stop smoking more times that I could honestly say. I've tried champix, zanex, patches, inhalers, nasal sprays, cold turkey, the lot. I've completed long drawn out nicotine replacement therapy, 12 week courses, where every day I am reminded that I am trying to stop, trying to quit, then I finally get there and although my body no longer wants cigarettes absolutely nothing has been done to support my brain.
I have been recorded as consistently low on the "addiction" scale, due to a variety of factors. The health model of addiction is to replace the physical chemical that the body is in need of and wean it off. Same is true of almost all addiction replacement drugs. Despite having a low physical addiction I have constantly struggled to loose the "need" for cigarettes, and came to the conclusion that I had a complete psychological addiction which needed addressed.
One of my work colleagues had been hypnotised in the past and stopped for 15 months as a result, I took the plunge and we contacted Jen, a hypnotherapist (amongst many other things) in Glasgow.
Yesterday I had my last cigarette, standing on the corner of Hope and Bothwell street, at 2.55pm.
I don't know if I can't explain what happened. I felt awake enough, at several points I thought to myself "this can't be working, I can hear absolutely everything", but then at other times I was saying things and seeing images that I couldn't say I was thinking about on a conscious level. I left feeling unsure, feeling that I probably could have a fag if I wanted, and thinking I may have just been completely scammed.
But since 2.55pm of the 4th of January 2014 I haven't smoked. I'm aware that I am not smoking, I feel kind of strange, but I'm not in pain over it. I'm sitting here this morning thinking it's weird that I haven't had a cigarette this morning, I'm very aware that I am not smoking, but I don't feel that fussed over it. I feel like a non smoker. In fact I kind of feel weird thinking about the not smoking, because why would I, I don't smoke. I'm sorry, it's a complete ramble, I can hardly get my thoughts in order in my head, never mind on paper. But I feel confident that something is different, that I have broken a loop or a link. Something has changed.
I feel free.
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