Motivation is a red maxi dress at a 30th birthday party!

Well despite losing a stone till now my recent plateau has resulted in the inevitable. I am NOT yet happy about the way I look. 


Thing is I know that I look more amazing now that I have for a very long time. And I know that my body shape and size is not, and probably will never, look the way that society perceives to be thepersonification of perfect. And honestly, I wouldn't want it to be.


The Beauty Myth, the inspiration for my blog, argues that society places pressure on women to look a particular way to keep us preoccupied, to keep us spending money, to keep us oppressed. 


Here I am, writing a blog instead of tidying my room (preoccupied anyone?) fully signed up to the weight watchers plan at a cost. Oppression.....well depression. 


It was my cousins 30th party on Saturday night. I wore a red, bright patterned maxi dress. Not going to lie, I would never have worn a maxi dress 6 months ago, they've never looked right on me because I seem to store the vast majority of weight around my middle. The polite term is apple shaped, I tend to use a word that WWers would certainly *** out, even if I put in a variety of symbols! The maxi was a necessity though, but my illness during the week meant I missed my tanning session (had visions of me suffocating in the booth...although at least I wouldn't look pale at the funeral!!) BUT I did dye my hair, make up was lovely, I felt generally great!


Then I went to the party, generally had a good time. Well as good a time as a single, pale, girl can be at a party with her family in attendance! Everyone there was a couple or related to me! But the girls...oh the girls! Skinny Minnies, Killer Heels, Legs up to their Armpits, (tanned), generally looking super amazing!


Wait a minute - I am 25!! I should BE one of those girls!!!!


So although I looked great, I didn't feel it. I felt clumsy, sore, fat and lumpy. Generally down in the dumps! Again.....as I used to do, at every party, at every night out, on every holiday!! I can't keep doing this....I CAN'T stay on this emotional roller-coaster that I've been on since I was about 20(ish......18 if I'm being honest!)


Time to get serious on this weight watchers palava!! Bingeing tonight....tomorrow is a new day, a new start...I am going to pretend that I am starting weight watchers as a brand new member tomorrow! I'm resetting to week one, going back to basics, and I will get to goal in 2012!!!!